Reflections on Reconnection

Six observations from four days with friends & fraternity brothers

I just wrapped up a four-day vacation in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. More specifically and importantly, I spent that time reconnecting with 19 friends and fraternity brothers – most of whom I had not seen in person since the last millennium.

To put that in perspective, for most of these gents, the last time we hung out I was a 20-something newlywed without any kids. Talk about ancient history. (We sure did.)

Six other observations from the trip:

1. None of us could come up with a fair accounting of where the time had gone.

Dedicating ourselves to growing families and tending to our careers have been the two biggest factors, of course. And although each of us have had numerous visits with at least a few others in our midst, for many of us it had been decades since we last spent any time together.

2. Our bedtimes were way earlier than 25 or 30 years ago.

That prudent tuck-in time was due in in large part to most of the guys keeping up a daily regimen of 36 holes of golf. Hey, Myrtle Beach isn’t ballyhooed as GolfTown, USA for nothing.

3. We took the “eral” out of “funeral”

When we were in our 20s and 30s, weddings were what typically drew larger get-togethers like this one. Thereafter, sadly, funerals (including two on the same June 2016 weekend) have become the more frequent impetus to see one another in groups of any considerable size.

All the more reason to seize these opportunities — way more fun than any funeral I have attended.

4. Social media goes only so far.

Part of what made the passage of decades seem impossible is that so many of us have kept in touch on a casual basis, with a “like” on Facebook here or a comment on another social media platform there. But it’s one thing to keep in touch through social media…and quite another to share actual embraces, rekindle memories from our younger days, and exchange updates on our present circumstances.

5. I’ve never been in a setting with so much uproarious laughter.

There were so many overlapping, high-volume conversations — interspersed with frequent laughter — that I feared we’d spark a noise complaint. Nobody could be a part of every conversation and I just hope only a few of those roars were guys laughing at (a younger version of) me.

6. Golf is hard.

OK, so this is not some stop-the-presses revelation. The “good walk spoiled” sport is exceedingly tough even for the most accomplished golfers in our entourage.

Though there was no formal Most Inept Golfer Award, few would dispute that I more than earned that distinction in my single round of misadventures on Sunday. (Thanks for suppressing guffaws at all those swings-and-misses, Joel and Mike. And for providing an endless supply of balls, Mike.)

The heights of my golfing struggle were eclipsed only by my enjoyment of sharing in the moment with good friends, each of us privileged and entrusted with knowing one another during our stumbling transitions into adulthood.

Let’s do it again next year, guys.

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