Boy, this triggers some road rage memories for me (where I was on the receiving end), and one of them involved a wave. Look, I am all for waving when people let me into a crowded road. But several years ago, a guy let me in onto a crowded road (I was exiting a parking lot), and I didn't wave. I don't know why. I might have been talking to my youngest daughter, I might have been thinking about a million things (I think we had just been to a doctor about something, but what I don't recall). Well, we were in a traffic jam, with nothing to do, and so maybe that's why the guy who let me onto the road, just let me have it. He started screaming at me about manners and how one should wave when they're ushered into traffic. He wasn't wrong, but he undermined his own argument by being so angry. Well, I found myself infuriated, and I was worried I would go into some sort of road rage, and so I got out of the line of traffic and went back into the parking lot and just sat there and fumed and raged, while my daughter kind of watched me implode... so... I always wave now... partially out of fear. But, sure, it's nice to give a thankful wave when drivers are nice to you. So I'm on Team Wave but not militant about it (I know you aren't either... this guy was in a special class all on his own).
A memory that I have from visiting Ireland as a junior high youngster out of Marshvegas was my grandfathers friendly wave, and many other like him in Ireland. I guess it might be a sort of lazy man friendly wave, they raise their index finger. Now I visit a couple of times a year and still notice that it's a thing in rural Ireland. The friendly finger wave, luckily it's not the middle one. That would confuse us yanks LOL
Team wave here, because they don't have to make it easy. And at the risk of labeling myself as a crotchity old fart, manners have gone downhill tremendously. And yes, entitlement is a big part of it. Now get off my lawn!!
I mean, I think it's a reaction more than anything else, so I wouldn't make too much of it one way or the other. If you're a big waver, I'd say that reflects that you really want people to like you rather than that you're deeply grateful. Who would be deeply grateful about such a thing?
I try to recognize that good deeds are real and special, but few and far between. A favor or a nice act is only really such if the person knocks himself out and has actually sacrificed. Often the "nice" thing to do is just as easy to do as not.
Actually, I really am grateful when people do the right thing---because so many don't [including me, at times]. I am not looking to be liked---I am looking to positively reinforce civil behavior.
But I still say the whole thing rests on approval. You are really saying they will be happy because you have given them a thumbs up for their action. Which means that you think they will be more likely to do the right thing in the future if they know there are admirers in the offing.
Boy, this triggers some road rage memories for me (where I was on the receiving end), and one of them involved a wave. Look, I am all for waving when people let me into a crowded road. But several years ago, a guy let me in onto a crowded road (I was exiting a parking lot), and I didn't wave. I don't know why. I might have been talking to my youngest daughter, I might have been thinking about a million things (I think we had just been to a doctor about something, but what I don't recall). Well, we were in a traffic jam, with nothing to do, and so maybe that's why the guy who let me onto the road, just let me have it. He started screaming at me about manners and how one should wave when they're ushered into traffic. He wasn't wrong, but he undermined his own argument by being so angry. Well, I found myself infuriated, and I was worried I would go into some sort of road rage, and so I got out of the line of traffic and went back into the parking lot and just sat there and fumed and raged, while my daughter kind of watched me implode... so... I always wave now... partially out of fear. But, sure, it's nice to give a thankful wave when drivers are nice to you. So I'm on Team Wave but not militant about it (I know you aren't either... this guy was in a special class all on his own).
A memory that I have from visiting Ireland as a junior high youngster out of Marshvegas was my grandfathers friendly wave, and many other like him in Ireland. I guess it might be a sort of lazy man friendly wave, they raise their index finger. Now I visit a couple of times a year and still notice that it's a thing in rural Ireland. The friendly finger wave, luckily it's not the middle one. That would confuse us yanks LOL
Team wave here, because they don't have to make it easy. And at the risk of labeling myself as a crotchity old fart, manners have gone downhill tremendously. And yes, entitlement is a big part of it. Now get off my lawn!!
I mean, I think it's a reaction more than anything else, so I wouldn't make too much of it one way or the other. If you're a big waver, I'd say that reflects that you really want people to like you rather than that you're deeply grateful. Who would be deeply grateful about such a thing?
I try to recognize that good deeds are real and special, but few and far between. A favor or a nice act is only really such if the person knocks himself out and has actually sacrificed. Often the "nice" thing to do is just as easy to do as not.
Now, if you don't do it? Then you're an asshole.
Actually, I really am grateful when people do the right thing---because so many don't [including me, at times]. I am not looking to be liked---I am looking to positively reinforce civil behavior.
But I still say the whole thing rests on approval. You are really saying they will be happy because you have given them a thumbs up for their action. Which means that you think they will be more likely to do the right thing in the future if they know there are admirers in the offing.
I guess what I am cool to is the notion of codependency and neediness that is infused in how you're putting it.