Hair for the Summer

Both of my collegiate children are home for break -- and my daughter's return follows an epic buzz-cut experience

At the midway point of their college experiences, both of my children are back for summer break. Zach¹ arrived five weeks ago, while Maggie Rose² returned only two days ago.

As usual, she had a gazillion bags of stuff.

In a departure from the norm, she left her beautiful long red hair back on campus.

More precisely, she dumped it in the garbage can of a friend’s dorm room. There, after her last exam, about 20 of her friends gathered Wednesday evening for a much-hyped two-hour event. Friends journeyed from 20-plus miles away and a few long-distance Zoomers peered in on the revelry.

A month ago, when I first learned of her buzz-cut plans, I was surprised and somewhat chagrined. For guys, growing hair long is a pretty typical rite of passage during college. I did it, as did Zach, who only last month returned to his prior shorter hair style.

Gradually, I recognized it as a bold thing to do. Admirable and courageous too. Older folks (starting with me) can take a cue from that level of self-assurance younger people, like Maggie Rose, exhibit in making such a drastic change to their appearance.

Here were three other thoughts, which might also have occurred to you:

• Is it for charity?

The answer is no.

This isn’t a for a cause like Locks of Love or the St. Baldrick’s Foundation. It’s simply Maggie Rose looking to try something new, to mark the conclusion of her sophomore year, at an opportune time in her life to experiment.

• Then, why?

For young women, for whom long hair is the custom and can be such a defining feature, it’s not nearly as common to go full GI Jane. And though I am biased, I think most would agree that Maggie Rose for many years has had really cool hair.

Maggie Rose, moments before her haircut.

Why mess with it? Of course, I also recognize it’s her hair, and that trumps my fuddy-duddy opinion. (I do see the double-standard implicit in the prior few paragraphs as well as in my distressing family members when I grew a thick mustache during the COVID-19 pandemic.)

What has become clear over the last few days is that part of the motivation was to have a fun, memorable experience. As my friend Steve has said over the years about taking action involving risk and/or potential misadventure: Do it for the story.

Look at the joy on those faces, toward the end of the gathering. Each has a story to tell.

Indeed, this occasion included multiple pauses to take photos and shoot video clips for posting on Instagram, Snapchat and TikTok. Various amusing degrees of hair length were contemplated, with a bowl pressed into service at one point to help fashion one blessedly brief stage.

Of the 20 or so on hand, about three-quarters took part in cutting at least a little of Maggie Rose’s hair.

Maggie Rose, moments after her haircut.

• Well, this is temporary – it can grow back (as long as she lets it).

All along, I figured that if Maggie Rose went through with it, she would let it grow out from the get-go. I also consoled myself with the fact that it wasn’t like she was getting a tattoo on her forehead (or anywhere else, as far as I know) or having a spike drilled through her tongue³.

Then, at dinner Thursday, my wife, Bridgett, said she could offer styling tips for maintaining this close-cropped look.

My wife has some history in short haircare: when she was 28, Bridgett had her tresses trimmed shorter than mine — I mean, boy short — the day after Thanksgiving. The plan had been hatched by enthusiastic family members and though I was freaked out by the idea, I kept a poker face. I respected that it was Bridgett’s choice; after all, she had let me grow mountain-man beards for years by that point.

While I kept my mouth shut about my less-than-favorable view of her short hair, Bridgett kept it that way for about three years. Only when she began growing it out again, and I confirmed she was committed to growing it back out, did I let her know that I much preferred her with longer hair.⁴

Immediately after Bridgett’s dinner-table remark, I was relieved by Maggie Rose’s reply that she’s going to let it grow back right away. Even after it returns, she will always have a memorable experience that brought joy, laughter and bonding to her and friends. They will all have this story.

Meantime, my daughter has beautiful, short hair. In fact, it evokes the first time I ever saw her, nearly 20 years ago, when she took 77 minutes to join her twin brother in that hospital room down the street.

Adorable then, and every bit as adorable today.

Maggie Rose holds a framed puzzle of her (left, in background) and her twin bro (right, in foreground) as short-haired infants.

1. He is now a rising junior at Indiana University’s Kelley School of Business.

2. She is now a rising junior at Northwestern University, majoring in journalism and biology.

3. Not that there’s anything wrong with getting a tongue piercing, if that’s your cup of tea.

4. Bridgett always gives me way too much credit for keeping mum about my feelings. After all, what could she do about her short hair after the fact?